7 Techniques to Instantly Attract Women Through Communication and Presence

Josef Smith

Introduction: The Importance of "Game" in Attraction [00:00:00]

The speaker introduces seven techniques to instantly create attraction with women, defending the concept of "game" against criticisms that it is "wrong." He likens it to sales and marketing, arguing that even a valuable product needs proper presentation to be desired. He asserts that inner transformation combined with game is crucial for success with women, contrasting his clients' results with those of "anti-game gurus."

1. Breaking Rapport [00:01:19]

Many men are too agreeable and harmonious with women, fearing to tease or disagree, making interactions predictable and lacking excitement.

• Avoid Being Predictable: - Mirroring a woman's preferences (e.g., agreeing with her favorite restaurant even if you dislike it) comes across as desperate and needy. - This predictability lacks spontaneity and tension, which are vital for attraction.
• Techniques for Breaking Rapport: - Playful Disagreement: Genuinely express your opinion if it differs from hers (e.g., "I don't know why you think Chili's is such a good restaurant"). - Teasing: Light-hearted jabs (e.g., "You have such a funny way of walking. Why do you walk like that?"). - Body Language: Playfully pretend to walk away or turn your back for a second (e.g., "I can't stand you. I'm leaving right now."), creating a temporary sense of loss.
• Outcome: Instantly triggers attraction by creating desire and preventing her from knowing what to expect, making the interaction more dynamic.

  

2. Storytelling [00:03:54]

Stories can indirectly highlight attractive qualities about yourself without overtly bragging.

• Identify Attractive Traits: Reflect on your strengths, such as leadership, being well-traveled, risk-taking, or having a good physique.
• Find Exemplifying Stories: Dig into your past for real-life experiences that subtly demonstrate these traits.
• Avoid Overt Bragging: - Direct statements like "I'm really good at sales and I'm the branch manager" come off as needy, unbelievable, and unattractive. - Instead, embed the trait within a narrative.
• Example Story: The speaker shares a story about training a new sales rep who wore sunglasses indoors, and he had to warn the older rep about being fired. - Implied Quality: This story implicitly showcases leadership and authority, as he was in a position to manage and make tough decisions. - Impact: The woman feels like she figured out his leadership quality herself, which has a greater impact on her attraction.

  

3. Pole Flirting [00:06:11]

This involves flirting without breaking rapport, often using fantasy or hypothetical scenarios.

• Fantasy Adventure Flirting: - Create scenarios where you and she are together in an adventurous context (e.g., "I only date girls who are good at hang gliding. Tomorrow, you and I are going to the mountains and we'll see if you can land a hang glider."). - This shows boldness and confidence, as only a secure man would initiate such a frame.
• Hypothetical Situations: - Use "what if" scenarios to introduce riskier or more sexual topics while maintaining a playful distance (e.g., "What if a guy invites you to a gym date, and then he tries to make out with you in the sauna, but you've been in there for 20 minutes and you're all sweaty?"). - Framing it as a hypothetical or a "friend told me" story allows you to say more audacious things without it coming directly from you.
• Benefit: Shows you're not afraid to "break the rules" a bit with your communication, adding an element of playful rebellion.

  

4. Leading [00:07:52]

Leading involves physically guiding a woman to a different location or confidently leading the decision-making process.

• Examples of Leading: - Instant Date: If you meet a girl on the street, suggest going for coffee together or walking a few blocks. - Venue Transition: In a bar, suggest moving to another area (e.g., "Let's go outside for a second," "Come meet my friend over here," or "Let's go to the ski ball machine"). - Post-Interaction: Suggest going to an after-party when attraction has been established.
• Benefits of Leading: - Builds Trust: Successfully leading her to new locations builds trust and makes her comfortable following you. - Masculine Frame: It allows the girl to relax into her feminine frame, making her feel protected. - Women's Preference: Women often appreciate when decisions are made for them, as it demonstrates confidence and decisiveness.
• Approach: Lead with certainty and a positive attitude, conveying "Let's do this. This is going to be fun. Let's go."

  

5. Proximity [00:10:17]

Many men try to talk to women from too far away, which can telegraph awkwardness and a lack of confidence.

• Optimal Distance: Get as physically close to the girl as appropriate for the setting (e.g., an arm's length, or "here to here" as demonstrated). Use common sense to avoid making her uncomfortable.
• Moving In and Out of Her Bubble: - Play with tension by occasionally moving closer and then creating a slight distance, similar to "pressure on, pressure off" or foreplay. - This builds sexual tension over time.
• Techniques for Closing Distance: - Handshake: Hold the handshake slightly longer to increase physical contact time. - Indirect Approach: Look away as you step in to reduce the directness of your approach and make it more covert.
• Calibration: Be socially aware; if she steps back, do not keep stepping in. Maintain a "Goldilocks zone" of tension where it's attractive but not uncomfortable.

  

6. Touch [00:12:24]

Lack of physical touch conveys zero sexual attention, and escalation requires touch.

• Start with Social Touch: - Handshake: Initiate with a handshake and subtly hold it for a bit longer. - Shoulder Tap: Touch her shoulder playfully, especially when teasing. - High-five: Use as an excuse to break the touch barrier in a lighthearted way.
• Escalate Gradually: - Hand Games: Playful games like thumb wrestling can add a fun, physical element. - Body Positioning: Position your body close to hers, such as side-to-side contact while showing her something on your phone. - Hugs, Spinning, Lower Back: More intimate touches that should be introduced gradually, usually in nighttime settings.
• Observe Her Response: Take baby steps and be aware of her comfort level. If she resists, it's not a rejection but a sign that she's not ready for that level of physical escalation yet. Step back and give it more time before trying again.

  

7. Composure [00:14:32]

Composure is the state of being calm, in control, and unbothered, and it's a fundamental aspect of attraction.

• Manifestations of Composure: - Conversation Flow: Allow conversations to breathe, giving her space to invest rather than feeling the need to fill every second with words. - Eye Contact: Maintain good eye contact, especially during flirting, which creates tension. - Unbothered Attitude: Remain unfazed when she "tests" you, responding with an easygoing attitude.
• Development of Composure: - Desensitization: It's developed by putting yourself out in the field and approaching women in progressively more challenging situations. - Self-Worth: It stems from building high self-worth and feeling secure in yourself and your environment.