Locus of control defines how much you believe you can influence your life. An internal locus of control is linked to improved physical health, happiness, better relationships, and increased success, while an external locus can lead to helplessness, stress, and anxiety. This is a choice and a learned thinking pattern, not a fixed trait.
The Helplessness Wobble illustrates the cycle of feeling powerless due to external factors or internal defects.
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The video outlines four steps to develop an internal locus of control:
Honestly assess self-sabotaging thoughts: Identify beliefs that hinder progress, often expressed as "I can't ______ because ______."
Clearly distinguish between what you can and cannot control: Focus energy on controllable aspects, using exercises like the "Locus of Control Exercise."
Actively explore and learn new skills: Overcome feelings of being trapped by seeking new knowledge and solutions.
Commit to taking action: Choose a small, deliberate step in a controllable area to foster empowerment and resilience.
Grew up in a poor inner-city neighborhood in Detroit.
His father left the family when Ben was eight.
Ben struggled academically, was called "dummy" by peers, felt embarrassed by poverty, and battled severe anger issues, nearly stabbing a friend.
Ben Carson as a child, during his early struggles.
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Sonya Carson's demonstration of an internal locus of control [02:22]
Despite being largely illiterate and working two jobs as a cleaner, she was determined to improve her family's situation.
Sonya Carson, Ben Carson's mother, whose determination shaped her children's future.
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She observed successful families restricted their children's TV time in favor of reading.
Sonya mandated that Ben and his brother Curtis read two library books a week and write reports, which she would review despite her own limited reading ability.
A child reading, representing the library book mandate.
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A child writing, symbolizing the book report assignment.
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Her consistent encouragement helped Ben drastically improve his academic performance, eventually excelling in school.
The book "Gifted Hands," Ben Carson's autobiography, which recounts his life story.
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Ben Carson's journey to overcoming adversity and achieving success [03:04]
He faced racial discrimination in private school but was guided by his mother to focus on his academic work.
He graduated at the top of his class from both college and John Hopkins Medical School.
Sonya Carson and a young Ben Carson at his graduation, celebrating academic achievement.
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At 33, he became one of the youngest chief pediatric neurosurgeons in the United States.
Dr. Ben Carson, a renowned pediatric neurosurgeon, in an operating room.
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Despite continued workplace stress, personal tragedy (loss of his infant daughter), and discrimination (patients questioning his authority as a Black doctor), he approached challenges with resilience and self-assurance.
He gained international recognition for pioneering complex surgical procedures, including separating conjoined twins.
Dr. Ben Carson pointing to a diagram of conjoined twins' brains, illustrating a complex surgical procedure.
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He later received the Presidential Medal of Freedom and served as the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.
Individuals with an external locus of control believe that external forces such as luck, fate, or the actions of others primarily dictate their life's outcomes.
Text defining External Locus of Control as attributing outcomes to external factors like luck, fate, or others' actions.
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This belief system often leads to higher levels of depression, stress, and anxiety.
This is a learned thinking pattern that anyone can adopt and shift from external to internal.
Addressing systemic challenges with an internal locus of control [05:42]
The speaker acknowledges the reality of systemic injustices, discrimination, poverty, and other forms of oppression.
The focus on what is within one's control is presented as a means to foster empowerment and resilience, not to dismiss the weight of external barriers.
Harriet Tubman, an example of an individual who created change in the face of adversity.
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Malala Yousafzai, a modern example of an individual who created change in the face of adversity.
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Externalizing: Signs of an External Locus of Control [06:44]
Externalizing represents one facet of the "helplessness wobble," where blame is projected outward.
Attributing personal failures or inability to get promoted to external factors such as a boss, political environment, business system, or personal background.
Text indicating 'Blame' as a sign of externalizing.
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The core idea is that the problem lies with anyone or anything except oneself.
This thought pattern results in feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.
Characterized by pessimistic beliefs about the world ("the world's going downhill"), a sense that it's too late for personal change, or that past mistakes are irredeemable.
This focus on uncontrollable external elements fosters a sense of helplessness.
Distinguishing between being mistreated (an event) and adopting a victim identity (a lens through which one sees life).
While feeling vindicated, this identity disempowers individuals from taking any action to improve their situation.
Believing success or failure depends on luck, fate, or deity [09:05]
Reliance on external, uncontrollable forces rather than personal effort or actions.
Externalizers often experience anger, bitterness, feelings of being victimized, and a pervasive sense of helplessness or hopelessness.
Text detailing various signs of externalizing, including blame, powerlessness, 'they made me feel', 'everything is awful', focus on self as a victim, and belief in luck/fate/deity.
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Internalizing: Another Form of External Locus of Control [11:05]
Internalizing represents the other side of the "helplessness wobble," where perceived external control manifests as self-blame and self-labeling.
Labeling oneself as defective and hopeless [11:08]
Using self-deprecating labels such as "I'm too stupid," "I'm unlovable," "I'm never good enough," or "I'm too depressed/ADHD" as an identity to excuse oneself from taking action.
This ultimately makes one feel powerless.
Text listing self-defeating labels such as 'I'm too stupid' or 'I'm too ADHD' as examples of internalizing.
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The belief that past mistakes are too significant to overcome, leading to resignation and giving up.
The distinction between an excuse and an explanation [11:54]
Jessica McCabe from "How to ADHD" illustrates this using the analogy of being short: an "excuse" for not reaching a top shelf means someone else must do it, while an "explanation" means you can do it with support (e.g., a step stool).
Jessica McCabe from 'How to ADHD' distinguishing between an excuse and an explanation for challenges like ADHD.
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Jessica McCabe explaining the concept of an 'excuse' using the metaphor of being short and unable to reach a top shelf.
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Labels like ADHD should serve as an explanation for needing different structures or routines for success, not as an excuse for inaction.
Empowered individuals use labels to seek resources, community, and support.
Not being overly concerned with others' opinions or seeking external validation.
Believing that personal effort and acquired skills can influence outcomes and lead to success.
Focusing on self-improvement rather than attempting to control others.
Setting healthy boundaries when faced with mistreatment.
Cultivating an internal locus of control is associated with greater overall success, better physical health, increased happiness, enhanced independence, and improved emotional stability.
List of signs of an internal locus of control: taking responsibility, independence from others' opinions, belief in influencing outcomes, self-focus, and boundary setting.
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1. Take an honest look at where your thoughts are sabotaging you. [14:26]
Identify self-limiting beliefs, inclinations towards victimhood, or blame (either towards oneself or others).
A helpful way to uncover these is by completing the sentence: "I can't ______ because ______."
Examples include: "I can't feel calm because of how my husband acts," or "I can't succeed in school because the teachers are unfair."
First step: Take an honest look at where your thoughts are sabotaging you.
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2. Get clarity on what we can and can't control. [14:52]
Healthy and successful individuals are adept at distinguishing between controllable and uncontrollable factors.
Utilize the "Locus of Control Exercise": Draw a line down a piece of paper, creating two columns: "Things I can control" and "Things I can't control."
At the top, write down a specific problem (e.g., "who is the president of the United States").
Fill in the columns: I cannot control who gets elected or who others vote for. I can control my vote, my education, community actions, and sharing my views.
The majority of one's attention and effort should be directed towards the controllable aspects.
Blank template for the Locus of Control Exercise to differentiate between controllable and uncontrollable factors.
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3. Explore and learn skills we might not even know about. [15:52]
If feeling trapped (e.g., a coal miner's son whose mine closed, someone struggling with relationships or panic attacks), actively inquire: "What skills do I not know yet?"
Coal miners in an underground tunnel, illustrating a community facing job loss and helplessness.
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A woman looking sad on a couch, representing struggles in relationships.
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A person experiencing anxiety while driving, illustrating panic attacks.
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Students taking a test in a classroom, representing challenges with academic subjects like math.
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This step encourages curiosity and the discovery of new solutions, such as learning a new trade, relationship skills, anxiety management techniques (e.g., deep breathing, willingness, brain dumps), or seeking alternative learning methods (e.g., a visual tutor for math).
Many problems have undiscovered solutions, and being curious can reveal numerous options.
The third step in regaining personal power: exploring and learning skills you might not know about.
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4. Choose to take action on one of these things. [17:37]
The ultimate goal is to shift unhelpful thinking patterns towards more empowering ones.
While direct control over external laws, social norms, or others' actions is limited, one can choose how these factors impact them and decide their internal response.
Taking even a small, deliberate action can initiate this shift.
Example: Shifting Locus of Control with a School Test [18:01]
External: "That was impossible! No one could do well," or "The teacher made that too hard; he's so unfair."
Internal (self-blaming): "I'm so stupid. This is pointless!"
Examples of externalizing and internalizing thoughts when faced with a bad school test grade.
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Applying the 4 steps:
Step 1 (Identify sabotaging thoughts): Recognize thoughts like "impossible test" or "I'm stupid."
Step 2 (Clarify control):
Uncontrollable: How hard the test was, the teacher's actions.
Controllable: How much you studied, what you learned, talking to fellow students if the test felt unfair, speaking up if necessary.
Step 3 (Explore new skills): Ask, "What skills might I be missing?" This could involve seeking another opinion, asking for extra support, or getting tutoring.
Step 4 (Take action): Review what was done wrong, learn from mistakes, and seek help or a tutor.
Conclusion: A healthy locus of control involves accepting what cannot be changed, actively changing what can, and possessing the wisdom to differentiate between the two. This framework can be applied to nearly any life situation, fostering empowerment and progress.
